I don't know how or why, but somehow during this long and dramatose campaign, Hillary has managed to morph into each member of The Breakfast Club. Observe...
Hillary becomes Claire - Hillary cries in public, sobbing about the pressures of being under public scrutiny, just as Claire did in her confessional, breaking down and admitting to hate the pressure she's under at the hands of her friends and lofty popularity.
Hillary becomes Andrew - Hillary challenges Obama to a bowl off, sure that she can beat him, and confident in the fact that the better bowler is the better candidate, just as Andrew challenges Bender to wrestle, confident he can win and confident it makes him the better person.
Hillary becomes Bender - Hillary talks tough and threatens to obliterate Iran if need be in order to show how intimidating she can be but it remains to be seen whether or not her follow through would match her big talk, just as Bender talks tough to show how intimidating he can be up until the moment the principal dares him to take a swing, proving his follow through does not match his big talk.
Hillary becomes Allison - Hillary lies about ducking sniper fire in Bosnia in order to make herself appear more edgy and dangerous, just as Allison lies about being an alcoholic and about sleeping with her therapist in order to appear more edgy and dangerous.
Hillary becomes Brian - Hillary, while obviously out of her element, drinks shots, poses with a pick up truck driver, campaigns at a farm dealership and all around appeals to the down and out lower middle working class assuming these will be easy votes to attain, just as Brian, while obviously out of his element, took shop because he thought it would be an easy "A".
Too bad this morphing wasn't intentional. She would have locked every single Gen X vote.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
That Riskay Song and Fool For Love
Go to PerezHilton.com and click through about 8 or 9 pages. Or better yet, just go to You Tube and search for "Riskay." I promise, you will laugh more than you did at that she-dude crying for Britney, and you will throw up in your mouth less than you did when you saw two girls one cup (no pun intended…wow I wasn't even trying for one there).
Riskay is a lady of waning patience. Her gentleman friend is giving her good reason to think that he may be looking elsewhere to satisfy his heterosexual urges. She confronts him. He think she crazy. She is sure she isn't. So sure, in fact, that after she has pieced together that he's coming home at suspicious hours and sending/receiving questionable text messages, it must come to this. It must arrive at what she is about to ask, nee demand of her wanderer.
It's time, my good man, to smell yo dick.
So it's like this. Riskay knows something's up, so in order to prove it she needs to smell her lover's dick. I believe her exact words are "why you coming home, five in the morn, something's goin' on can I smell yo' dick?" He protests. But seriously, what becomes of a relationship where a woman sniffs her man's penis in order to prove he has (or has not) been with another woman? How do you recover from that? I'd imagine that if it has to come to one person smelling another person's jumblies for forensic purposes then the relationship was over a long time ago. But I can't be sure as I have never been in such a tricky pickle. So let's turn to one of the great American plays (which became a movie in the 80s) to see what becomes of a relationship after the party of the first part has demanded to smell the party of the second part in order to detect the scent of a party of the third part.
Sam Shepard's 1983 play Fool for Love was made into a movie in '85 starring Shepard and Kim Bassinger as Eddie and May, lovers/half siblings who can not live together nor apart. It is a constant push-me-pull-you that's kicked off by Eddie's return to May after being M.I.A., and May's instant accusation that Eddie's fingers smell like yatch. So what follows the scent? Well, Eddie and May fumble through a constant battle of wills--May throwing Eddie out, Eddie complying, May not wanting him to go, Eddie threatening to leave, May saying "good fine go", Eddie lingering, May wanting him to stay...see where this goes? Nowhere good, especially when we find out that the arguing lovers actually share the same father, a man who managed to abandon both of them and had eventually caused Eddie's mother to off herself. Forget smelling yatch, the insinuation reeks of vicious cycle and familial pattern repetition. Because in the end, for all their arguing, for all their tenderness, and for all their participation in a passionate tug-of-war kicked off by May accusing Eddie of smelly fingers, Eddie leaves anyway, knowing that he can be gone for as long as he wants and that May will always wait. And May rests assured that he will always return, only to leave again. It'll go on and on and on. So if Shepard can be counted on to explain modern R&B (and he always can), then Riskay's man is sure to develop wanderlust again, he'll leave and she'll wait a thousand times over, and most importantly, this is not the only time she'll smell her man's rod this year.
Count on it.
Riskay is a lady of waning patience. Her gentleman friend is giving her good reason to think that he may be looking elsewhere to satisfy his heterosexual urges. She confronts him. He think she crazy. She is sure she isn't. So sure, in fact, that after she has pieced together that he's coming home at suspicious hours and sending/receiving questionable text messages, it must come to this. It must arrive at what she is about to ask, nee demand of her wanderer.
It's time, my good man, to smell yo dick.
So it's like this. Riskay knows something's up, so in order to prove it she needs to smell her lover's dick. I believe her exact words are "why you coming home, five in the morn, something's goin' on can I smell yo' dick?" He protests. But seriously, what becomes of a relationship where a woman sniffs her man's penis in order to prove he has (or has not) been with another woman? How do you recover from that? I'd imagine that if it has to come to one person smelling another person's jumblies for forensic purposes then the relationship was over a long time ago. But I can't be sure as I have never been in such a tricky pickle. So let's turn to one of the great American plays (which became a movie in the 80s) to see what becomes of a relationship after the party of the first part has demanded to smell the party of the second part in order to detect the scent of a party of the third part.
Sam Shepard's 1983 play Fool for Love was made into a movie in '85 starring Shepard and Kim Bassinger as Eddie and May, lovers/half siblings who can not live together nor apart. It is a constant push-me-pull-you that's kicked off by Eddie's return to May after being M.I.A., and May's instant accusation that Eddie's fingers smell like yatch. So what follows the scent? Well, Eddie and May fumble through a constant battle of wills--May throwing Eddie out, Eddie complying, May not wanting him to go, Eddie threatening to leave, May saying "good fine go", Eddie lingering, May wanting him to stay...see where this goes? Nowhere good, especially when we find out that the arguing lovers actually share the same father, a man who managed to abandon both of them and had eventually caused Eddie's mother to off herself. Forget smelling yatch, the insinuation reeks of vicious cycle and familial pattern repetition. Because in the end, for all their arguing, for all their tenderness, and for all their participation in a passionate tug-of-war kicked off by May accusing Eddie of smelly fingers, Eddie leaves anyway, knowing that he can be gone for as long as he wants and that May will always wait. And May rests assured that he will always return, only to leave again. It'll go on and on and on. So if Shepard can be counted on to explain modern R&B (and he always can), then Riskay's man is sure to develop wanderlust again, he'll leave and she'll wait a thousand times over, and most importantly, this is not the only time she'll smell her man's rod this year.
Count on it.
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